Dancing

I teach at an Arts Academy. My sixth graders had been working on a play that included a little dancing....more accurately...a little "Tango."

I am not much of a dancer. Besides the fact that I tend to be highly uncoordinated, and have had some unfortunate run-ins with dance instructors and choreographers, I was brought up in a strict legalistic church where dancing was considered a sin. It kind of stunts your growth in the skillz department when your church teaches you are going to hell for it. I always felt I was born to be a tap-dancer.....but anyway...

I asked one of the choreographers where I work to come in for a couple days to work with my kids to teach them how to Tango. The kids loved it! But as I observed the choreographer teaching the kids how to dance together, I found myself wishing that my 6th graders would take what they are learning from their mini tango lesson, and apply it to their future marriage relationships.

My favorite date John has ever taken me on was to go swing dancing. He knew I loved swing dancing, and it was 100% out of his comfort zone.....but he did the research, and took me. It was so much fun! And even then, as I was helping to teach my future husband how to swing dance, I was being taught the lessons of our collaborative relationship.

We've been married for 8 mos. now, we are moving into a new apartment and we irritate each other to no end. Sometimes I wonder how I can respect someone who doesn't treat me with love, and I'm sure that John sometimes wonders how he can love someone who doesn't treat him with respect.

I wonder what it looks like to respect someone, to help someone be a good leader in a relationship, without becoming the lead myself.

And then I look back to the swing dancing lessons, and the tango lesson taught to my sixth graders by my colleague.

A good dance partner makes dancing easy.

The man leads. He does not pull or, jerk, or yank. He gently guides with a pressing of the hand on the small of the back, a gentle motion from the palm of the hand. Both dance in step. The woman, submits to the motions of the man, because if she goes the wrong way, and tries to do her own thing, they end up stepping on each others toes, or getting tangled up in arms and limbs.

But we have to spend hours upon hours of training to get this right in dancing, and I'm sure near a lifetime to get this right in marriage.

It is so difficult to submit when someone is pulling and yanking. It hurts. And it is hard to lead when the other is doing their own thing and going their own way. But when both are working together in tandem, leading and submitting, collaborating, it is a beautiful, fun, breathtaking experience.

The Hubs and I are not very good at this yet. Like our dance lessons, we are clumsy, trying to learn new steps, where hands and feet go, when the next turn is. Sometimes I have to remind him how to lead. At our lessons I was much more patient than I am at home. I would tease, or gently guide his hand back to the small of my back, and readjust our hand positions. At home I get impatient, it is easier to decide to do things myself because I have gotten by on my own for so long.

But if I do things myself, we both get hurt. When he tries to abruptly yank me in the direction he wants to go, I get hurt. It isn't fun anymore.

I look forward to a time when our relationship resembles a more mature one.

You have turned for me my mourning into dancing: you have put off my sackcloth, and girded me with gladness; 

Psalm 30:11

I look forward to a day, when our marriage is a full expression of joy, and a reflection of God's love. 

This is The Hubs Aunt and Uncle. They participated in a Tedx and their talk and illustration are way more eloquent, and experienced than anything I could say on the matter:

Things I learned about Dating...while dating God. #1

While I was on "sabbatical" from dating, I intentionally took the time out I would have been spending on dates, to spend time with the Lord.

A while back ago a read a book by Rabbi Shmuley called "Dating Secrets of the Ten Commandments"  I think everyone should read it. It's not just about dating, it's about relationships. Relationships with significant others, relationships with spouses, friends, and with God.

Over the next few days I am going to touch on a few pieces of dating advice I learned while spending time alone with God.

#1 Follow the First Commandment.

The Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’  Mark 12:30

and the first four Commandments clarify this: 

1.You shall have no other God's before me

2. You shall not make idols

3. You shall not take the Lords name in Vein.

4. Remember the Sabath day and keep it holy

Above all, keep God the center of everything you do. Pray when you meet someone. Pray before you go on a first date, pray before you go on every date after that, and pray when your date is over. Continuously check in with God. Allow Him to have a say in your dating life. If the person you are dating is not in similar place as you are with God, you need to be very cautious about moving deeper into a relationship. If God is not the center of their life, they will not appreciate the fact that God is the center of yours. 

Our culture insists that our dating partners are to take over our world. Our thoughts, and our plans. If you are the middle of this situation, if your time with God is being pushed to the side because of another person, if you are seeking out someone else's comfort and leaving out God, you have created an idol of another person.

This will ALWAYS lead to heart ache. An imperfect person can not fill the spot in your heart that God was meant to fill. 

God WANTS to be your match maker. The most romantic stories in the bible were orchestrated by God; Adam and Eve, Isaac and Rebecca, Ruth and Boaz...

14 Ways to Share God's Love this Valentines Day

 THE OFFICIAL FIRST POST FOR WHATEVER IS LOVELY!

My sister-in-law and I swapped Valentines Day stories the other day. We were each talking about how stressed our husbands get over presents and the pressure to be romantic. 

As I left my apartment today, on the dry erase board by our door was a little drawing. It said "I <3 you!" With a little arrow going through the heart. 

"I love you too!" I thought with a smile and a skip in my step as I floated my way down the stairs. *sigh*

The hubs is most romantic when he doesn't feel the pressure. 

While I sit planning, and scheming for The Kiddo, and The Hubs, about how I am going to make this "THE BEST VALENTINES DAY EVER!!!!!" The hubs makes my day by drawing me a picture. :)

Last year, I got a giant poster board with foam hearts pasted all over it and "I Love You" written in marker in all different languages. He got over 8,000 calories worth of candy that he ended up giving to his co-workers in the ER. 

While we work so hard to be romantic, and to take out time for our significant others, I think it's the little things throughout the days that really mean something. 

I think that's how God romances us too. In the still, quiet spaces of our lives, he envelopes us with His love in the a glimpse of the sunset, a single flower blooming in a field of nothingness that caught your eye, a cup of hot cocoa sprinkled with cinnamon and rimmed with marshmallows, a desperately needed encouraging note from a friend, little bodies snuggling up against you for an, 'almost not quite there, I just need to be sure of you' moment while reading a book or watching a movie, or a stolen kiss on the shoulder from your husband as he buries his head into your neck, with a muffled "I love you." 

God loves us through these gifts, through the people he has put in our lives, and he loves others through us as well. 

This Valentines Day, forget about the hype, and think about the True Love that flows down on us and through us. Let the love of God flow out of you and spill over onto the people God places in your life every day. 

And so... without further ado... 

And to love him with all the heart and with all the understanding and with all the strength, and to love one's neighbor as oneself, is much more than all whole burnt offerings and sacrifices.” (Mark 12:33 ESV)

Neighbor is an interesting concept.

“And who is my neighbor?” 

Jesus replied, “A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, and he fell among robbers, who stripped him and beat him and departed, leaving him half dead. Now by chance a priest was going down that road, and when he saw him he passed by on the other side. So likewise a Levite, when he came to the place and saw him, passed by on the other side. But a Samaritan, as he journeyed, came to where he was, and when he saw him, he had compassion. He went to him and bound up his wounds, pouring on oil and wine. Then he set him on his own animal and brought him to an inn and took care of him. And the next day he took out two denarii and gave them to the innkeeper, saying, ‘Take care of him, and whatever more you spend, I will repay you when I come back.’ Which of these three, do you think, proved to be a neighbor to the man who fell among the robbers?” He said, “The one who showed him mercy.” And Jesus said to him, “You go, and do likewise.” (Luke 10:29-37 ESV)

Do you even know your neighbors?

Our literal neighbors are probably none to happy with us right now due to The Christmas Tree Incident, and The Early Morning Screaming Kid Fiasco.

1. What would you like this Valentines Day? A Card? Some Chocolates? A flower?  

How can you bless your neighbor with these same gifts this Valentines Day? 

Hatred stirs up strife,

but love covers all offenses. (Proverbs 10:12 ESV)

2.  Is there someone in your life you need to forgive? Is there someone you have held a grudge against, or have not been very kind to. It seems to work, that even though you DO NOT feel very loving, when you commit acts of love, God seems to soften your heart. What can you do this Valentines Day, after you ask God to change your heart, to drop your guard, and do something kind for someone you hold negative feelings against?

3. While your at it, encourage your kidinkles to do the same. You know, when you were a kid addressing Valentines to all the kids in the class, didn't you pick the BEST valentines for your BESTEST friends and leave the ugly ones for the kids you didn't like so much? Wow. How young our hearts turn to sin. :( 

Chances are your kids are thinking the same thing when they are making their cards. Talk to you kids about what the bible says about hate, and loving your enemy, and help them make decisions with their cards that are loving to those that are sometimes hard to love.

By this we know love, that he laid down his life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for the brothers. But if anyone has the world's goods and sees his brother in need, yet closes his heart against him, how does God's love abide in him? Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth.

(1 John 3:16-18 ESV)

Oh wow! THE HARDEST!

As I learn about church history I am amazed that the first century church basically made government programs obsolete because they were doing such a great job of helping those in need! They would go out to the fields and save children left out to die, they would feed the poor, and heal the sick! I'm listing a few ideas here that you can take on yourself leading up to Valentines Day.

4. Donate Blessings Bags to the Homeless

I LOVE FREE PRINTABLES!!!! Check out Mique's printables for this project. She also has a lot of links to ideas to complete this project. Basically, you make up kits with food and necessities for the homeless who stand on the street corners.

5. Donate Night Night Bags to Children in Shelters and Foster Care. 

Here's the idea.

but you don't even have to go through the program, you can construct them yourself and drop them off and shelters and Agencies.

6. Join Knots of Love and Make Chemo Caps for the Kiddo's or Blankets for Babies in the NICU, drop them off at your nearest Children's Hospital.

7. Join or start initiatives with your church to serve others in need.

Let the Children Come to Me

13Then children were brought to him that he might lay his hands on them and pray. The disciples rebuked the people, 14but Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of heaven.”  Mathew 19:13-14

8. Love on your kidinkles and let them know how much Jesus Loves them. Get out your Jesus Storybook Bible, and read through your favorite bible stories with your kids. (If you don't have one, get one. It's great for adults too! I have it on my nook, the narrator is GREAT! The Kid will listen to the stories in the car when we can't read to him.)

9. I LOOOOVE Kim at Not Consumed. I just LOVE her blog. She's got this great idea for a little valentines Gift Basket for  Kidinkles I'll be doing for The Kid. She has a whole roundup of Scripture based valentines as well. Check it out

I also read a lovely blog recently that has some great ideas written by Kendra 5 Easy Ways to Show Kids Love on Valentines Day

Whoever says “I know him” but does not keep his commandments is a liar, and the truth is not in him, but whoever keeps his word, in him truly the love of God is perfected. By this we may know that we are in him: (1 John 2:4-5 ESV)

10. Write God's word in your home. I try to have scripture in every room of the house. We have a picture frame beside the television that we decided to switch out scripture printables every month to help The Kid memorize scripture, and to keep it up. There are plenty of printables and ideas you can find on pinterest. I LOVE this from Amy at Positively Splendid. And we are using this printable beside our television. I really like Missie's Printables at LostBumbleBee.

Let's talk about the Hubs. No pressure here, but Valentines Day isn't just about you. It's about him too, and he doesn't have to make it a win this Valentines Day for you to show him how much you love him!

Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth!

For your love is better than wine; (Song of Solomon 1:2 ESV)

11. Oh Solomon, you risque man you! (Seriously, when you start to realize what he's talking about it is almost downright embarrassing) We are called to SUBMIT to our our husbands, and THEY are called to LOVE us!  WOW! I find that it is much easier to submit to someone when you love them...but that topic is for another day. Use Valentines Day to love on your husband in your cute girly ways. Leaving him notes in his lunch box, writing messages to him on the mirror, sending him emails and texts throughout the day....

12. and let him know your ready for his kisses in the evening...;) Text him hints throughout the day, and check out the Dating Diva's for great creative ideas for celebrating Valentines Night with your Hubs.

Delight yourself in the LORD,

and he will give you the desires of your heart. (Psalm 37:4 ESV)

13. Your greatest Valentine is the Love of God. Spend the month of February reading everything that John wrote in the bible. He LOVES to tell you how much God LOVES you. 

14.  Take a bubble bath light some candles, put on some worship music (I perfer to listen to Plumb, Lauren Daigle and Chris Rice) and get naked. I love doing this periodically. There is something about being completely bare, and comfortable in front of God and just spending time worshiping and speaking, and listening. Take time out this Valentines Day to spend time with the one who loves you the most. Let him love on you, and show you how romantic He can be.

The LORD your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing. (Zephaniah 3:17 ESV)